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having a hard time

Added a post Jun 28

 

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Beverly added the blog post 'Feeling a little down...' Jun 28
Beverly started a discussion called Keep it, or don't keep it? in Breast Jun 22
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Beverly added 2 new blog posts. View Beverly's blog posts Jun 10
Beverly started a discussion called 1st chemo --starting next Tuesday in Breast Jun 6

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Feeling a little down...

Yesterday I think was the first time ever that I have honestly felt depressed I'm not feeling as strong as I thought I am. Last Tuesday's chemo treatment was really hard for me,and its only #3! I had a hard time going to the cancer center, did not want to go, my port was clogged, they were running behind. I ended up being there 5 hrs total. I have to say, I've felt pretty well after my treatments(I go EVERY week),, haven't lost my hair yet, doing pretty good but, once I hit that chemo chair I fe… Continue

Posted on June 27th, 2008 at 11:36pm — 6 Comments (Add)

2nd Chemo Down and Counting!

Hi! Yesterday was my 2nd chemo. and the 1st went pretty well. I feel pretty good today too.! I'm getting chemo every week for 12 weeks. THeres always this lingering in the back of my mind of when it will hit me? I have had no side effects so far will this keep on ? Is there anybody who has experienced this? No side effects? Doc's say it is cumulative, so will it hit me hard later? I think about that alot. I am trying to enjoy the moments and day by day. I went to an orientation this morning of a… Continue

Posted on June 18th, 2008 at 6:14pm — 3 Comments (Add)

CHEMO/RUN/PROBABLY CRY...

I'm going for a hard run this morning to clear my mind of what is to come later this morning. My 1st chemo appt. Never in a million yrs. would I believe these words would ever come from my mouth. No history in my family-NONE, always been a freak about exercising, always eat pretty healthy, blah , blah, blah,: I sit here wondering, how did I get this ? as I woke up at 4:30 am. I read my bible, prayed & meditated and sign on to tell all my cancer buddies that I am scared. My husband is out of… Continue

Posted on June 10th, 2008 at 7:00am — 6 Comments (Add)

Comment Wall (16 comments)

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At 2:46pm on July 2nd, 2008, cjmillerusa said…
thanks for the kinds words Beverly. We can all use that sometimes. I was told by my oncologist that my hair would start falling out 17 days after my first chemo. And she was so right. So I cut off my waist long dreadlocks. Did it with my husband and daughter helping. Then had a burial ceremony in my backyard. Said goodbye to that period of my life. My hair was VERY very short at this point - like you would see on a man. When that started to come out (the horror of it all. stubble in my hands) I went to a really good barber and got a wet shave. I felt much better after that. I knew that it would be devastating for me to watch it come out in clumps. Shaving it was very empowering at a time when you may feel like everything is spinning out of control.

I swore I'd never wear a wig. That's just me. i was going to just rock a baldie. I never was all about my hair anyway, but it was nice. Now I love my bald head and I get soooooo many compliments from men and woman, gay and straight all races and no one thinks it's anything other than a style statement unless I tell them it's a chemo cut. One lady that was regularly getting chemo on the same days as me said that I inspired her to shave her head too. How awesome is that. I think I miss my eyebrows (which I pencil on) the most.

I've really come to accept what is happening. I was diagnosed in Jan so I've had time. I joke about it because laughter really is the best medicine (sorry to be so cliche) but it's true.

If you are feeling down, have questions or just want to chat, just shoot me a message.
At 12:23am on June 28th, 2008, David Sturgeon said…
My girls and I are sending good thoughts and prayers to you and your family.~David
At 5:09pm on June 18th, 2008, Debbie said…
Beverly~ Great to hear from you! And I'm thrilled that you were visiting family, having fun, enjoying life! Relieved that your first round went so well, and I'm optimistic that your second will be just as smooth! We're enjoying a break from the heat in the south - temperature in the 80's today so I took our youngest to the park while the big kids were in camp this morning! Enjoyed life! Sounds like you're doing the same! I go for chemo #3 next Thursday - more worried about the Neulasta than anything! So, so, so good to hear from you! Be well! Take care! ~ Debbie
At 3:45pm on June 18th, 2008, Marisa said…
Hey there, I'm doing ok.. It's been a rough week just starting to feel a lil better! I have my 2nd round next thursday:( The side effects really kicked my a** hope next time is better :) Hope today has been good to you..
At 4:41pm on June 16th, 2008, Debbie said…
Hey Beverly, Hope you're doing well today. Sending strength and light your way! ~ Debbie
At 2:43pm on June 16th, 2008, Rainey said…
How are you today?
At 3:20pm on June 12th, 2008, Lynn Lane said…
Hi Beverly...stay strong! Best wishes to you during this!...Lynn
At 11:41am on June 12th, 2008, Debbie said…
Hope you're doing well and not having any side-effects from the chemo. Know that we are all thinking of you and supporting you every step of the way.....you are never alone! Gentle pink hugs! ~ Debbie
At 7:35pm on June 10th, 2008, Marisa said…
I hope today went well !!!! Just think every time we go, we are closer to the finish line!!! Best wishes talk to you soon... Marisa
At 4:33pm on June 10th, 2008, Debbie said…
Gentle supportive hugs to you and your family! You did it! You've started chemo - hope it went well! Congratulations! Pink hugs and kisses! ~ Debbie
 
 

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