Melissa's Page

January 26, 2007 I went to clinic in town because I had been vomiting and thought I had the flu. I was trying to squeeze in the appointment before my company pot luck. I had made potato casserole. The doctor came and told me it was my Gallbladder and sent me uptown to have a scan and that I might need to have it removed. I remember thinking I don’t have time to have my Gallbladder removed I have two kids and work full time. I went up town and had my scan, the technician told me to go wait in the little room to the side. I sat in this room waiting and a white phone on the wall rang it was my doctor. She calming stated they found something odd on your liver and they want to run another test. I remember thinking it can’t be all that bad or she wouldn’t be calling me on the phone. The phone rang again and the words were seeing if its spread were spoken. “What spread? I remember asking her are you telling me I have cancer.” I called my mom to come and wait with me. Two doctors’ came down the hall to speak to me and show me some picture on a screen.

The next few weeks are a blur….Liver; tumors, chemo, no treatment options, resection, medications, bile, bile ducts, treatment centers and so many other words flooded my world. I remember Dr. Doom coming into the hospital room telling me that I needed to “wrap things up.” Wrap what up? How do you wrap life up?

In March I went to Seattle and requested an evaluation for a transplant. They denied me. I had a Liver resection in Seattle and began my first round of chemo. I remember my hair falling out and then finally shaving my head and how that scared my kids. In June they told me it wasn’t working and I had three to six months left. I took the kids to Disneyland and used the cancer card so we didn’t have to wait in line. I rode every ride there was and absorbed the happiest place on earth.

In June I went to UCLA were the Liver team said I could have a transplant. They made it seem like they were making a fruit salad! Dr. B’s words “you’re to young to die from this” ring in my ears still to this day. The next two weeks I had every scan, test and inch of my body tested to make sure the cancer had not spread. Two spread scares later I was listed. My world became one of donor, UNOS, and tests. My doctor’s petitioned UNOS for more points and I was denied. The waiting game began of wanting to get more points, not leading this frinking cancer spread, and balancing how sick I got!

On November 8, 2007 I got a call at work. They have a liver for you….I remember racing home and calling everyone I knew to tell them the news. When I got to UCLA they informed me that I was secondary. What an emotional roller coaster that night was!

I woke up the next day with news that they ended up having to remove my pancreas, spleen, gallbladder, and part of my stomach along with the liver transplant. I have very few memories of my recovery; I have been in the hospital off and on since the surgery with infections. Overall I am a success. I have been hospital free for over a month. They say the first year is the hardest. Life after a transplant is not the same I won’t kid anyone. There are appointments, scans, and medications galore. But, it’s life and in most cases I can do the things I need and want to do.

On my one year mark I sent Dr. Doom a card to let him know that I was not a number. That I was facing each day with all I had. I have good days and I have days of darkness. My biggest challenge is asking for help. Cancer and all it comes with is full of emotions no one else can understand. This year I watched my son turn two and my daughter turn nine. I try to celebrate everything I can.